perfect sunday
i wish i knew where to start.how i end up writing this tonight .i wish i knew the words i wanted to write,things i wanted to say.i’m not sure of anything nowadays.i guess i might as well start with what i’m certain of.pain.the only thing i know of now.pain.the only thing i feel now. i wish i never knew such thing.i guess this is just how the world works.pain happiness, sadness, all running in circles in the aptly called cycle of life. but this isn’t about life,im not trying to write for world peace.im not writing this for pulitzer.this one’s for me.im writing this for myself and for you.in fact let me correct that,this is not about me,this is really about you.i have to give it to you.you really had me writing this.and yes this is again (sigh) all about that four - letter word.what can i do?every girl has to have her own story, right?
mine is three years in the making with me getting hurt at the end.not exactly what i hoped for,what i dreamed of, what every girl is praying for.i didn’t ask for what you gave to me last sunday.i don’t think any girl should feel the way i felt when you were holding her in your arms while i was left to watch you in my perfect broken smile.i don’t deserve that.as a matter of fact i don’t deserve any of the things i did for you that day.i did it because i want to see you happy even if the reason is her.i will go with the rides with her if you want to,cheer for her,root for her if you want to.because i want to see you happy.that’s just it.i know you don’t see me in the same way i see you.that’s fine.i just thought that you want the best for me too. i just wish you would have done the same thing for me too .to see me happy.i just never thought you would do to me what you did that day.how can you be so insensitive.i would never, could never do that to you.i wish things were different that day.i wish you remembered that i was still your friend,that im human and that i also get hurt.have you forgotten? or is it me who set too much expectations?
i guess its also my fault.i never should have gone there with you and your friends.i should have known better.i guess there’s still a part of me hoping and wishing that you’d like me too.how pathetic.i’m pathetic.i’ll give you what you want.i’ll try not to think about you and dream about you.i’ll stick to my world.i’ll have my own perfect sunday just like yours.
